And Joseph, her betrothed husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly. Matthew 1:19

Joseph’s reaction is before he knows the whole story. We know it and rush to read ahead. But at this point, Joseph does not know. His remarkable reaction is while he can only believe the worst. The earth shattering news could only be the result of an affair. There is no other conceivable (so to speak) explanation.

Of all the natural emotions and reactions, Joseph’s is the least expected.

Anger. Disappointment. How could she do this to me? To us? To our future? Our future family? Rage, even. These are what I would expect.

And embarrassment. Shame. Everyone will assume the baby is his. Or worse, that she has cheated on him. Overwhelming feelings of shame and rejection that she would have chosen someone over him would be unavoidable. For most, a stoning is in order.

In short, the expectation would be for Joseph to make this all about “me.” No one would be surprised, or object.

But Joseph is really a remarkable guy.

A righteous man.

Not wanting to disgrace her.

“Righteous.” Just. Rendering due consequences. In the face of circumstances he did not cause and could not control, Joseph seeks what is the “right” outcome. To make things right. To right the ship. The correct result.

This of course means that they cannot get married. She has been with another man. And the baby is not his.

And at the same time, “not wanting to disgrace her.” Not just truth, but also grace.

Truth alone is a harsh instrument. Wielding only truth, one can quickly become oppressive and legalistic.

Joseph does not let piety displace love and grace.

“Not wanting to disgrace her.”

Him? Not wanting to disgrace her? After what she had done?

She deserves what she gets. She made her bed, literally, so let her lie in it. Any pain, any embarrassment, is of her own making.

Joseph is the innocent party here. Why should he be concerned about her? Isn’t he the victim? The party wronged? Isn’t his own reputation the one that should be protected and repaired? Isn’t he entitled to some damage control for his own life?

No. Not to Joseph.

Being a righteous man, and not wanting to disgrace her.

Truly a noble-man. A gentle-man.

Grounds to seek revenge. And yet, yielding. And yet, still thinking of her, first. Still putting her first. Even now.

Look out not only for your own interests, but also the interests of others. Philippians 2:4.

He makes plans. Send her away. Secretly.

Humans love an exposé. Dig. Report. Inquiring minds want to know.

It is the glory of kings to reveal a matter. It is the glory of God to conceal a matter. Proverbs 25:2.

Joseph seeks to avoid her shame. He seeks her welfare. He is planning a way for her to get not what she deserves, but the best possible outcome.

More will be revealed. There is usually more to the story. More that would soften the hardest heart and redirect even the most natural base instinct.

But Joseph makes the best decision before knowing the whole story, and at that time understanding only the worst of circumstances. He chooses her over himself. He puts her first, even though as far as Joseph knows she clearly does not deserve it.

And when more is known, Joseph will be so glad he chose what he chose. Not making a scene. Not being self-interested. And then his decisions will become even more challenging.

The glimpse of Joseph is brief. His role, his calling, is so specific. So limited in time. And so mission critical. He has but a handful of decisions to make that matter in his entire, probably short, life. They matter for an eternity.

LORD, may I make the best decisions in all circumstances. May I lay aside my own assumptions, no matter how well grounded I think they are, and choose the best welfare for others, including those I think have wronged me. Especially those. May I entrust my own welfare, reputation, and outcome, to you.

~~~