For the despairing man, there should be kindness from his friend, so that he does not forsake the fear of the Almighty. Job 6:14
I have what Job did not: kindness from many friends, in the time of despair.
Job’s friends wanted to debate him. To correct him. To teach him. To fix him.
Job and his “friends” both suffered from the same heresy – a belief in karma. Tit for tat. If one is good and does good, then God will cause good things to happen. And vice versa.
The nearly universal question of “why do bad things happen to good people” is based on premises that bad things should not happen to good people, that good things should happen to good people, bad things should happen to bad people, and that people can be categorized into good and bad deserving good and bad things, respectively. These premises are all wrong.
This instinctive thinking crosses time and culture. Jesus encountered it and rejected it. Some Galileans reported to Jesus heinous and sacrilegious murders of some in their community by Pilate. Jesus’ response: “Do you suppose that these Galileans were worse sinners than all other Galileans because they suffered this way? I tell you, no, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish. Or do you suppose that those 18 on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them were worse culprits than all those who live in Jerusalem? I tell you, no, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.” Luke 13:1-5. All have sinned, and fall short of God’s glory. The good things we have received are from God’s gracious hand. “Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.” James 1:17. Things happen to me I cannot control or understand, and often do not deserve, both good and bad.
Job does not know about the transactions in the unseen spiritual realm that have preceded his circumstances. Job does not know the restoration in his circumstances that awaits him. Job, and I, do not see what transpires in the unseen realm or even all that transpires in the natural realm, and certainly not the future.
Job refuses his wife’s malignant counsel to curse God and die. Job in his faithfulness proves satan wrong, and God right, though Job does not know about the heavenly debate. Job is proud of his piety, that he has not cursed or denied God. For this pride, God would later rebuke Job.
In the meantime, Job is in exceeding despair. He does not talk of suicide, but he yearns for death. He laments ever being born. As one in pain, he speaks for all in pain.
What Job seeks from his friends is kindness. Not counsel. Not correction. Not advice. Not rebuke. Kindness. Sometimes the best ministry is just the ministry of presence, with no words at all. Even words well intentioned to be encouragement may not be heard or received as such.
I am blessed beyond my imagination – and I clearly don’t deserve it (which is more proof there is no such thing as karma). Among my many blessings are friends, real friends, many of them, some of whom are related and some of whom are not, who are not as Job’s “friends.” Mine are real friends who are present. Who are praying. Who are kind. This is “wow.” This is salve. This is medicine. This is healing.
By this I know I am loved. By this I know not only their love, I know God’s love.
Jesus encountered one who had such friends. This one was paralyzed, and therefore could not come to Jesus on his own. His friends carried him on a litter to Jesus’ house at Capernaum. Upon arrival, they found a packed crowd and could not get in. But these friends were real friends. They would not be deterred. They determined to find another way. They lifted the paralytic up to the roof, dug a hole through the earthen roofing material, and lowered their friend down through the roof right in front of Jesus. Mark 2:1-13; Luke 5:17-26. Now that’s friendship.
What Jimmy Stewart’s character George Baily learned was right; to have friends is to be rich. I am richer than Job.
Job declares from his firsthand experience that the kindness of friends is needed by the despairing man so that he does not forsake the fear of the Almighty.
I am the beneficiary of this principle, rather, more than just abstract principle, of this living gift. Challenging, even painful, as circumstances may be, and as low as my emotional response to them may go, even if I am not able to reach Jesus on my own, I have friends who carry me to Him. And though at times I may be despairing, my despair will not take me so far as to “forsake the fear of the Almighty.”
Some abandoned Jesus. He asked those who remained, will you abandon me, too? “You alone have Words of eternal life,” responded Peter. “To whom else would we go?”
Indeed. To whom else could I ever go.
Circumstances may be difficult, challenging, and even painful. Or they may be delightful to the point of euphoria. Either way, in everything give thanks, wrote Paul. Job got it right. The LORD gives, the LORD takes away. Blessed be the Name of the LORD.
Thank you, God, for Your unfathomable grace, Your goodness, Your exceedingly many gifts, high among them, really good friends. May I always walk in reverent fear of Your awesome, holy Name, in good times and bad. When needed, may I receive the kindness of friends. And may I be such a friend to others.
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For more on how to be this kind of friend, see this insightful and tender post: http://cathycmiller.blogspot.com/2015/01/finding-words-when-our-friends-were.html